Hmm…
I haven’t been posting here; I’d say I felt bad, but no one reads this anyway. So yeah. I’m depressed. It seems like I don’t know anything about anyone. Yeah. My own boyfriend. Turns out he’s bi. He never told me. I don’t have a problem with it, but…he always made me think he was soooo straight. I just don’t know anymore…I sent him his Christmas gifts…he liked them… *Sigh.* I don’t know…I’ve just been completely miserable for the past two days. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have so much that needs doing and I just don’t feel like doing any of it. All I want to do is just give up. Nothing seems to matter anymore, and nothing I do is good enough. I feel like I’m trying my best, but my best just isn’t enough…I feel so pathetic…so useless and worthless…I know Kavi-heart loves me, but…I never feel good enough for him. I want to make him happy, but…My brother says it will be years before we can be together. Years. Can I really ask him to wait that long for me? It seems so unfair…I would give anything, anything to be with him…To wake up every morning to see him smiling at me, or to watch him sleep…I need him so badly. He’s like air, or water. Necessary for my survival. I need him. I love him so much…God…why can’t I just be with him? Why? I need a miracle, I need some help…I need it badly, and I need it soon…
“I’m looking at you through the glass…don’t know how much time has passed; all I know is that it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head…”
“Through The Glass.” -Stone Sour.-
